Ever wonder about the origin of the expression, “Children should be seen but not heard”? If you have been around a preschooler recently, you should be able to figure this one out. After the word, \u201cNo\u201d, what is the most frequently uttered word? Why of course, it is \u201cWhy\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do dogs have tails?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy do you put gas in the car?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy do I have to go to bed?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t dogs talk?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n And so on. <\/em><\/p>\n It is not just the number of \u201cwhy\u201d questions, but the fact that whatever answer you give the kid, it will invariably be followed by another \u201cwhy\u201d question. Is our frustration with the annoyance of the endless questioning? No, it is the fact that if we genuinely try to answer a series of \u201cwhy\u201d questions relating to one topic, we quickly find ourselves struggling for answers. And what is the simple solution to that obnoxious behavior? Children should be seen but not heard.<\/p>\n Is there a lesson to be learned here? One simple lesson is the fact that a series of \u201cwhy\u201d questions pulls for much more depth than most of us give to our everyday problem solving. Most of us are good at coming up with a quick causal explanation for something and running with it. Are you familiar with Occam\u2019s Razor \u2013 which holds that the simplest explanation is often the best? Well, Occam raised a dull child. Face it. Most of life\u2019s problems are far more complex than we would prefer. By asking a \u201cwhy\u201d question five times in succession, some of that complexity is unearthed.<\/p>\n Originally developed by Taiichi Ohno as a scientific problem solving methodology to improve production at Toyota Motors, the Five Why\u2019s<\/em> approach seeks to find the basis to a problem as well as its solution by repeating \u201cwhy\u201d five times. What does manufacturing Toyota\u2019s have to do with raising a child, you ask? When was the last time you had a problem with your Toyota?<\/p>\n This simple approach to problem solving often yields surprising amounts of depth as to causes as well as possible solutions. Give it a try. Here is a simple example:<\/p>\n Having noticed the new water stain on the ceiling, Amanda started to dial the number of her plumber. Then she paused and decided to find out what her teenage son knew about the water problem first.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy is there water stain on the ceiling?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThe sink in the bathroom overflowed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy did the sink overflow?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt was filled with my stuff. You know \u2013 my T-shirts and socks.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy was it filled with laundry?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThat seemed like a better place for it than leaving it on the bathroom floor.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t you put the clothes in the laundry room?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cBecause they aren\u2019t that dirty.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhy is the sink a better place than hanging in your closet?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a long walk, Mom.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Instead of a plumbing bill for a house call, this mother found a trove of answers. She not only found the cause of the water damage, she found a couple of other causes worth pursuing. Not only will her son come up with some new laundry skills, he will also learn the fine art of dry wall repair. How\u2019s that for a natural consequence or two?<\/p>\n Five why\u2019s is a valuable form of assessment that leads to defining goals to master; staying engaged with a problem; and managing anxiety. It is a simple way to\u00a0\u201cAnalyze Before You Act\u201d.<\/p>\n So, don\u2019t whine. Ask \u201cwhy\u201d \u2013 five times.<\/p>\n Here is a template that can be used to generate ideas about causes and solutions:<\/p>\n Questions asked: Child\u2019s responses: Insights provided:<\/p>\n Why is there a water stain on the living room ceiling?<\/em><\/p>\n The sink in the bathroom overflowed.<\/em><\/p>\n Does the sink or the bathroom need a back-up drain to prevent or contain overflows?<\/em><\/p>\n Why? <\/em><\/p>\n It was filled with my stuff. You know \u2013 my T-shirts and socks. <\/em><\/p>\n Do I need to establish a clearer set of expectations about laundry?<\/em><\/p>\n Why? <\/em><\/p>\n That seemed like a better place for it than leaving it on the floor. <\/em><\/p>\n Do I need a set of consequences for this kind of behavior?<\/em><\/p>\n Why? <\/em><\/p>\n Because they aren\u2019t that dirty. <\/em><\/p>\n How can I help promote logical thinking (LT), internal discipline (ID), and responsibility (RES)?<\/em><\/p>\n Why? <\/em><\/p>\n That\u2019s a long walk, Mom <\/em><\/p>\n Is it too late to put him up for adoption?<\/em><\/p>\n Do you think the teenager got anything out of this series of questions? Do you think this process does anything for his development of logical thinking (LT), internal discipline (ID), and responsibility (RES)? How about the mother? How did she benefit from asking this series of questions?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Before responding to a problem or reacting to a child’s behavior, take the time to ask a series of five ‘why’ questions. The basis for the problem and a possible solution will be understood at a more fundamental and effective level. Having to answer five of your ‘why’ questions will cause your child to think […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[99,98,52],"class_list":["post-801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-thinking-process","tag-5-whys","tag-analyzing-before-acting","tag-logical-thinking","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=801"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":806,"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801\/revisions\/806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.childproofingforadolescence.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}